Angels
by nextuesday
Summary: PostTwilight cries Tate. Tony's POV. Oh god it's so sad.


**Angels**

"Kate Todd was anything I could have asked for in a member of my team," Gibbs' voice boomed out over the hundreds gathered around the casket. "Intelligent, fast, and above all she was courageous." The wind picked up, drowning out the rest of his eulogy.  
_Maybe we're not meant to hear this_, I thought bitterly.

**You found hope  
you found faith  
found how fast she could take it away**

_"You did good," I smiled.  
"For once," Gibbs said, helping you with your bulletproof vest, "Dinozzo is right."  
You laughed, "Wow. I thought I'd die before I ever heard a compli-"_

_If I had known it would be the last time I would see you, if I had known it would be the last time I would see your smile, if I had known it would be the last time I would hear your laugh… if I had known…  
If I had known I would have kissed you. I would have taken your in my arms and taken in your scent. So what if I lost my job? So what if Gibbs had something to say about it? None of that matters now._

**  
Found true love but lost your heart  
Now you don't know who you are  
She made it easy  
Made it free  
Made you hurt till you couldn't see**

_I watched in awe as you fell to the ground so gracefully, like you were a angel, a fallen angel. Gibbs hurried off to shoot Ari – That sick son-of-a-bitch, that sick son-of-a-fucking-bitch._

_  
I dropped to my knees by your side. You eyes had already begun to turn that ever-foreboding shade of gray. Our knuckles interlocked and I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to press your wound; it was just above your heart. I wanted to save you. There was still time.  
You wouldn't let me. Your fingers tightened around mine and you kissed them. You do something to me that I can't explain. Would I be out of line if I said 'I'll miss you'?_

_You were right. There was not enough time.  
"Kate," I whispered through trembling lips. You smiled. God I loved your smile. God I loved you. I had never loved anyone as much as I did in that moment._

_You started to shake and I started to cry. I ripped off my shirt and wrapped it around you and I pleaded for you to hang on._

**You will fly and  
You will crawl  
God knows even angels fall  
No such thing as you lost it all  
God knows even angels fall**

_"Tony," You choked._

_I know I'll see you again, whether far or soon, but I needed you to know that I care and I'll miss you._

_"Kate no, shh, don't talk." I'd cry so hard if I lost you. I would die if I lost you.  
"Tony, please," you wanted to tell me something. But I knew it would only make it harder and you needed your strength._

_"Kate please," I was crying. You had never seen me cry like this before. No one had. "Help will be here soon. Gibbs called for a-a bus." But you shook your head.  
"No, Tony," your whispers were becoming harder to hear, but I would not miss a word. "There's not enough time."_

_"THERE IS!" I shouted. "Kate, no, no, NO! OK! NO!" Tears fell onto your chest and fell to the ground with your ruby-red. Red. It was your favourite colour.  
"I'll miss you." You whispered, you own tears falling into small pools beside you._

_Your grasp on my hands weakened._

_"Kate?" Your eyes were still open. I shook your hands. "Kate?" I said louder, stronger. My stomach fell to the ground 20 floors below. "KATE TODD?" I shouted. You did not reply. You did not make a sound. "Please baby, just wake up," I picked you off the concrete and rested you in a tight hug, "Kate, please, you can rest soon, just wake up for me." You were not going to wake up. "Kate, just – come on please baby. I love you." I stopped, somehow expecting you to regain life when I uttered the three words I should have told you everyday from the moment I met you. "I love you," I was almost hopeful. "Kate, can you hear me? Please hear me. I love you." I kissed your forehead and cried into your beautiful brown hair. You had only been gone a few moments, but I was already falling apart._

I took the stand and stared out over the sea of faces.

"Kate, Kate was…" I tried for three days straight, but I could not bring myself to write what I had wanted to say. What could be said? What could be said about the most amazing, beautiful, caring… "Perfect. I-I don't know what to-to say…" I began to cry. I had been doing so well, the whole ceremony, but when it came my turn to praise your life, I found all I could do was cry.

Abby stood from her seat and came to my side.

"Kate loved every single one of her friends and family," She said to the crowd. "But there was no one in her life she loved more than Tony." I looked at her. I knew it to be true the moment you had said 'I'll miss you'.

I knew how to whisper. I knew how to cry. I knew how to fake it. I knew how to scheme. I knew when to dream. I knew where to touch you. I knew I loved you. But I did not know how to let you go. As I went home that night, I found myself looking into my future. A beer in one hand, a gun in the other.

End.


End file.
